go to sleep y'little baby

I looked at a 6week old baby today. she smelled like cigarettes and her jammies were almost too small. she had a rash on her face and a Mama who loves her like the dickens. baby girl was fighting sleep, trying to stay awake and take in every single bit of life that she could. she was so sleepy. as she fussed, i scooped her up in my arms and rocked her until she finally slept. during those moments i didn't think of empty marriages or beds, unfulfilled dreams or too tight jeans. i looked at that child and wondered what i could give her at that very moment. anything to soothe her soul and allow her to sleep in peace. i was happy to hold that new miracle in my arms. happy she trusted me and happy that i knew exactly what to do. I wondered about the birthmark on her eyelid. It made me a little sad, because I knew that one day she'd cry to her mommy when the kids made fun of her. I'm sure the rash will go away in a few weeks, but know that the lingering effects from that smoke she breathes everyday will make her cough more than she has to. I thought about what she's gonna look like when her hair grows in. Pink dress and a matching bow in her pony tail (thank you george strait) I'm so certain that our exchange today meant as much to her as it did to me.
I wonder what it is about the purity of babies--their complete innocence...I wonder what it is about babies and me that attract...wonder if we attract because of the ones I've not had. It is an honest inquiry. one with no answer, i'm sure of that.